Refocusing Life

I've missed writing down my thoughts.  It dawned on me the other day that I don't have many opportunities to just reach out with some bit of wisdom every now and then.  In the past few weeks my very full plate has gotten cleared off a little at a time.  During the "scraping of the plate" I've managed to spend some serious quality time with my husband and daughters.  My family needed me back as much as I needed them. It's made me look inward at what else I'm missing:

I miss:

• Mom to Mom talks
• Play dates at Chik-Fil-A
• Coffee with friends
• Having moms over for a playdate
• Sitting in a bookstore reading magazines
• Going to the library and not rushing
• Quality relationships that need to be reconnected

This is my bucket list over the next few months.  I need to reestablish myself within my community, church and circle of friends.  If you are in a similar position I encourage you to leave a comment so we may share in the journey.

One of His, T

Caregiver to Many

My signature on my email is Theresa...wife, momma to 5, mimi to one, caregiver to many and one of His.  I've found throughout the years I tend to get restless and feel like I'm not where I am supposed to be.  But time and time again God puts me in my place and says you my child, are a caregiver to many.  I am.  I really am.  I'm exceptionally good at taking care of people.  That's not ego.  I just recognize caregiving as a gift.  It's actually very cool to know I am supposed to take care of people as my calling.  And can I just say...caregiving is a privilege and I love it.  To those who entrust their loved ones to me, thank you.  To those who are out there needing help...see you soon.

Theresa...wife, momma to 5, mimi to one, caregiver to many and one of His.

Early Morning Rantings

4:00 a.m. and I hear 'Mommy I have to go potty'.  Mind you this comes from a 3 1/2 year old who is sleeping beside me because she regularly crawls into bed with us sometime after midnight.  Then I hear my 7 year old lab making her gotta go potty noises.

Do I give priority to the kid or to the dog?  If I wait on the dog then a potential carpet cleaning will be happening upon sunrise but if I wait on the kid then sheets, blankets, clothes need to be changed, husband will be woken up ( insert involuntary shiver here)...kid wins.  All of this happened in less than 10 seconds...it's amazing how fast your thought process can be at 4:00.

So off to the potty we go.  Little is sitting and says 'Mommy I want to go to the living room'...this is code for 'Mommy I want to watch TV snuggled up to you while be mentally bombarded by mindless commercials selling creepy puppet blankets that move by themselves'.  Of course she does not realize she's speaking in code. After much pleading about how it's still dark outside I get her to lay back down, yes in my bed...don't judge me.

Now on to the lab who at this point is whining and crossing her legs.  We make it to the back door and I kick her and the 5 pound dachshund out to potty.  Oh great it's drizzling and my mini mongrel doesn't like to pee in the rain.  I stand waiting at the back door in my t-shirt praying that an ax murderer doesn't try to kill me because I am SO under dressed for that.  The puppies come in and I go lay back down.  Again with the 'Mommy I want to go in the living room'.  At this moment I feel like Cee Lo Green..."Whhhyyyyyy?".  It's only 4:15 and I know with a 100% surety I am awake for the day.

Quiet Time Check In

Boy have I struggled over the past week to have quiet time in God's word.  I wake up in the morning just thankful for a few minutes of quiet and not feeling motivated to have a structured devotion.  I have been praying more heartfelt prayers which has been rewarding.  My reading has been based on whatever my devotion of the day recommends and then I just keep reading until I get to the end of the story.  I got really caught up in Joseph's story.  I've read it before but this time it kind of pulled me in.  Reading about him being sold into slavery and then becoming the second most powerful man in Egypt who still loved the Lord and his family...good stuff folks.

So I'm off...to find either another daily devotion in my Women's Devotional Bible or read about some cool character in the bible.  Hugs!

Day 5 in His Word

I have managed to have my quiet time every day since I started my recommitment to reading my bible and praying.  There have been a few moments of not complete quiet but I blocked out the buzz of kids to simply read.  I had to explain to Katie that mommy was praying and to give me a few minutes to which she asked where her food was.  Yes, we pray at every meal and she really hasn't seen me pray for any other reason.  Over the last few days she is now clear on what kind of prayer I'm doing.  Bible in lap=mommy praying during mommy time.  Plate on table=praying for food. 

My Saturday devotion was on Adam and Eve, the fruit, the serpent...etc.  I have always focused on the passing of the buck mentality of this particular scripture.  God to Adam: Did you eat the fruit?  Adam to God: The woman you gave me made me eat it.  God to Eve:  Did you eat the fruit?  Eve to God:  The serpent deceived me.  I was always like dang take responsibility!  But this time what hit me was here they are walking in the garden WITH God.  Physically with Him.  How cool is that?  Why couldn't they be content with what they had?  My spiritual goal is to be content.  With who I am, with what I have. 

"Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as He was walking in the garden in the cool of the day..."

Genesis 3:8

Prayerfully,
Theresa

Holier Than Thou...not even close-day 1

So I have a confession.  I very rarely read my bible.  It sits on my night stand...brown leather bound, my named etched in gold.  On top of it is a stack of stuff.  Papers, other books, a box of tissues.  So my bible has become the foundation of my stuff both literally and figuratively.  In my kitchen there's a pink women's devotional bible worn, clear duck tape keeps the spine in place, highlighter and ink mark the pages from years of reading.  This is the bible from my past.  A bible I used for 8 years before I "upgraded". 

Yesterday afternoon I had a chance to speak to a wonderful woman from my church about where I'm at right now.  Well, I'm lonely.  Not because of my husband or family but because by my own lack of effort I have moved further away from God by not reading His word.  I miss Him.  He used to be a constant discernable presence.  He's still there because my faith says so but I used to FEEL His presence.  That's what I miss.

Today I picked up that pink worn bible and started from the beginning, well, the first Friday anyway.  The devotion was about the dove that Noah sent out to see if the waters had receded.  It spoke of a "single lonely bird" who "found no rest".  It then compared us to that bird.  "Spiritually and emotionally we find no rest".  That's me.  I love the Lord with all of my heart.  But because of my lackadaisical attitude I have not allowed Him in as deeply as I crave Him to be.  I start my journey of a true relational friendship with God today knowing that I will have be accountable to myself and to others.  I will blog often but not always daily.  I need to catalog my emotions for myself in case I go down this road again.

Please be in prayer for me as I cling to His word.

In Christ,
Theresa

Hunger Pains in America

Just read about the woman in Laredo that shot her children and herself in a DHS office after a 7 hr standoff.  Kids were critically injured and mom is dead.  She was desperate that's apparent but it pains me knowing she was denied foodstamps and also because of all the red tape her cased was closed.  I do not condone the actions of this one parent.  I hope it sheds a light on raising the poverty level in this country.  It's easy for those with money to say 'get a job' but when you are a single parent often times you are stuck between a rock and hard place.  Child care is expensive and wages are low. Or, like one of my family members...good job, decent salary but living just a basic standard costs more than what you make.  I'm frustrated so my writing is probably all over the place so please bear with me.  The 2011 HHS poverty guidelines show that a family of four cannot exceed $22,350 gross.  That breaks down to roughly $430 per week, before taxes, or $1720 per month.  Not a whole lot.  Now what happens if you make $22,351?  I have been in this scenario.  Years ago when I was a newly divorced mother of 3 I lived on about $1500 per month bring home.  If it wasn't for the fact that I applied and was approved for child care assistance that lowered by child care fees to $30 per week for all 3 children I would have been forced to quit my State job and go on complete public assistance.  I made too much money for any other help.  No Foodstamps, no Medicaid...nothing. It was hard, terribly hard. 

I know there are those 'haters' that say well what about 'those people' that take advantage of the system. Speaking from a former recipients perspective...I don't care.  My kids needed to eat.  My rent and electricity needed to be paid.  My car needed gas so I could get to work.  There were times my electricity or water was cut off before I got home from work because I just didn't have the money.  I'd borrow from my sister to have it turned on and then went without something else so it would stay on.  Dang it was hard. 

I don't live like that anymore but I sure appreciate where I came from and what I have now.  I appreciate it enough not to turn a blind or judgemental eye.   

Romans 12:1-2 The Message
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

Romans 12:20-21
Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.



Full Chapter:
http://bibleresources.bible.com/passagesearchresults.php?passage1=Romans+12&version1=65