4:00 a.m. and I hear 'Mommy I have to go potty'. Mind you this comes from a 3 1/2 year old who is sleeping beside me because she regularly crawls into bed with us sometime after midnight. Then I hear my 7 year old lab making her gotta go potty noises.
Do I give priority to the kid or to the dog? If I wait on the dog then a potential carpet cleaning will be happening upon sunrise but if I wait on the kid then sheets, blankets, clothes need to be changed, husband will be woken up ( insert involuntary shiver here)...kid wins. All of this happened in less than 10 seconds...it's amazing how fast your thought process can be at 4:00.
So off to the potty we go. Little is sitting and says 'Mommy I want to go to the living room'...this is code for 'Mommy I want to watch TV snuggled up to you while be mentally bombarded by mindless commercials selling creepy puppet blankets that move by themselves'. Of course she does not realize she's speaking in code. After much pleading about how it's still dark outside I get her to lay back down, yes in my bed...don't judge me.
Now on to the lab who at this point is whining and crossing her legs. We make it to the back door and I kick her and the 5 pound dachshund out to potty. Oh great it's drizzling and my mini mongrel doesn't like to pee in the rain. I stand waiting at the back door in my t-shirt praying that an ax murderer doesn't try to kill me because I am SO under dressed for that. The puppies come in and I go lay back down. Again with the 'Mommy I want to go in the living room'. At this moment I feel like Cee Lo Green..."Whhhyyyyyy?". It's only 4:15 and I know with a 100% surety I am awake for the day.